Letter to Courtney Pointer when she was about 3 yrs old. Just found it, been saving it to give her. She is now nearly 13.

Well, Jesse and Mikey are gone now. They have been replaced by Maggie on one side of Papa and Nana, and Toby and Holly on the other side. Maggie's owner let you run all over the backyard while she dragged you giggling at the other end of ther leash. You always have to remind me which of the other neighbor dogs is Holly and which one is Toby. You say, "Holly is a girl." You still have to place your hands through the fence while they lick your fingers and they lie against the chain link obstacle yearning to come over and play. You say "Hey baby" and "night night" to them. You are not afraid of anything. We catch lightnin' bugs and you want to hold them and let them crawl on your arm. You probably would hold a snake but we made the mistake of telling you (and transferring our own fears to you) that they were bad. I tried to correct that , but I didn't want you endangered. I am glad you're trusting and I want you to experience all of the world's wonders - the safe ones anyway.I met you and Papa and Nana at McDonald's Sunday for lunch. It wasn't our idea of a Sunday dinner but that's what you wanted and that's certainly good enough for us. You always grin with your eyes whenever you see me and if you're not trapped in a restaurant booth, etc. you usually run to me and hug me - this is the highlight of my LIFE. This day you were at the table eating your McNuggets so I went behind you and kissed you on the forehead as you looked at me upside down. You in that yellow checked dress, white frilly socks, and patent leather shoes - a burst of sunshine you are to me. After we ate you did come to me and I enjoyed that small but redeeming walk to the car.I decided to brave the 100 degrees and bloated belly and follow y'all back to Nana and Papa's to read the paper while you played in your new pool, but as usual you enlisted me as your playmate. Whether we're playing basketball, chasing each other, looking for dinosaurs, or pretending to catch a bus to Gatlinburg, I am allowed to enter your world and remember the pleasantness of childhood peace and the sweetness of joyful abandon, an innocence I see through and in your eyes. God forbid that you will have to grow up too fast or that modern times,technology and a world turned upside down will dim the memories we make now, or the view of life that you now hold. You entreated me to get into your tiny pool. When I hesitated you assumed the experienced adult role and said "TRY TRY". I jumped in - but that wasn't enough so I sat down - JEANS, SHIRT, AND ALL. I took up about two-thirds of the pool but when I asked you if I should get out you said, "No, stay here". When Nana held the hose pipe up high making an arch with the shower of water you wanted us to run under it. After a couple of times I was still dry so you made sure that the next time through I was far enough over to get wet. You really liked that. After that you would slide into the pool or Nana would spray you, you would open your eyes wide to clear them and then run back in a circle with your tiny butt stuck out in your little fluorescent green bathing suit.

My Girl Courtney

If I could see, not only WHAT you behold in your extraordinary baby blues, but also HOW you perceive your world. As I watched you I noticed everything you looked at, everything I had already seen many times before and probably without any particular impression of the dogs, wildflowers, weeds, and dirt mounds in the backyard. Without fear you beckoned Jesse by poking your sweet little face into the fence that surrounded his doghouse. You finally gave up on his stubborn refusal to play and you turned your attention toward Mikey and friends in the backyard of the other neighbors. As you were walking in that direction you graciously turned and said, "bye bye" in the same cajoling tone that we use on you except that your display of affection was astounding in it's evidence of intellect and creativity. Your trusting hand reached into the fence to pet Mikey but MY distrusting hands pulled you back, much to your disliking, but as I directed your attention toward picking a flower for Nana Lib and Papa Danny your interest became fixed on the tall weeds that had lost their cotton heads. I found a little periwinkle and gave it to you. You twirled it between your precious little fingers and ran to give it to Papa. When we went to get one for Nana I found some of those weeds witrh their perfectly shaped heads intact and I showed you how to blow them away. When you tried they stuck to your lips which you had pursed tightly. You looked like you were going to laugh as you cut your famous eyes at me. When you figured out how to do this trick the downy tops disintegrated into your face, hair, and mouth - then you did laugh and you continued to giggle as I helped you hop from one patch of grass to the other.

Chicken Fanger Eatin Sweetie Pie

I met you and Nana Lib for lunch today at Fuddrucker's downtown. At first you wouldn't look my way, so I sat at another table and covered my eyes with my hands. You immediately walked over to me and grabbed my neck, at which point I picked you up and squeezed you tightly and I said, "Where have you been? I missed you so much, I was so sad." Your sweet little hand patted me on the back and that forever sweet mischievous smile and sparkling blue eyes lit up my somber world.

Happy Hallooooween

Dear Courtney, My Sweet Girl,Today was another difficult day for me - selling the house, looking for a job, trying to figure out how to pay bills. Nina Lib told me to come over and eat left over pizza for lunch. I was glad to, since I was broke and tired of grits and eggs. You answered the door wearing one of Papa's t-shirts. You acted shy for some reason but, as always, you quickly warmed up to me and grinned your beautiful sweet smile - mischeivous flashing blue eyes full of giggles. You ate "hallow-weenies" and laughed at me spinning crazy bread on a toothpick. You wanted me to eat all of my pizza that way too. So, as usual, you and I cut up at the table - making Nina Lib tell us to behave. Then we made a game of tossing dirty napkins back and forth to each other.